There are many weird ways couples show love to each other, and one is by giving hickeys. A hickey is also known as a love bite, or sometimes a kiss mark, because it may follow after kissing. It is not exactly a ‘bite’ though. A hickey is done by sucking on your partner’s skin until small blood vessels burst open. When these blood vessels burst open, they produce a red discoloration on the skin that changes with time as it heals. It is usually done on some patch of soft skin and commonly found on people’s necks. Some also have theirs on other parts of their body such as the chest and inner thighs.
Once done, a hickey does look like every other bruise. What makes a hickey different from every other injury is the sexual undertone associated with it. It is usually done in the heat of passion when both partners are all over each other and being passionately intimate. Though men are generally the one who give hickeys, it is not gender exclusive. When it comes to how to give a hickey, there are no strict rules. What is written here are general guidelines you may follow as you show your love to their partner.
The four commandments on how to give a hickey
1. You shall always ask before you give a hickey. There are many reasons why it is essential to get your partner’s consent before you give a hickey. One is that a hickey can be very painful, depending on how it is done, and not everyone would like it. Also, visible hickey marks may be embarrassing. Though very wrong, there have been cases of women being slut-shamed because they had visible hickey marks. It might also look awkward for your boss to see your hickey mark at work. Besides, your partner might just plainly dislike hickeys. For these reasons, ask before you do. It does not take much time. And if they refuse, that’s it; there are other lovemaking activities apart from giving hickeys.
2. You shall find a good spot to give the hickey. A hickey can be given on different parts of the skin. But it is commonly on the neck. Various factors go into choosing a spot for a hickey mark. Before giving a hickey, you should consider if your partner wants it to be visible or not. Some don’t mind having hickeys, but definitely not somewhere visible after wearing clothes.
3. You shall not give a hickey abruptly. It has been mentioned above that hickeys are given in the heat of the moment. You don’t just come home from work and go over to place a hickey on your partner’s neck. It would look very awkward. Therefore, let some romance precede giving a hickey. Kissing is one of the actions that build up the tension. That way, the other person would be more receptive to your hickey.
4. You shall suck, not bite. Hickeys are given by sucking on the skin. That’s painful enough, now imagine adding a bite to it. To give a hickey, first, shape your mouth to form an O. Then press your lips against your partner’s skin and suck gently (firm, but not too hard,) for a few seconds (not more than 30 seconds). If the other person is not comfortable having a visible hickey mark, you may do it on a less conspicuous part of their skin, such as the areas around the collarbone or anywhere a cloth would generally cover.
The red patch would not appear immediately the hickey is given. It would take approximately five to ten minutes before it does. Later on, as the hickey heals, the redness becomes darker, purple or dark brown.
It must be mentioned at this point that you need to be careful about giving a hickey. There is a risk of the person having a stroke or even dying. Now, don’t be scared; the probability is too far low. You just have to make sure you don’t apply too much pressure on the skin. Doing so can rupture the blood vessel and lead to a blood clot which may clog the artery and cause a stroke. That is more reason you should be gentle with hickeys.
How to Remove, or Hide a Hickey
Did you get a hickey and you want to get rid of it before it heals? Here is what you should do. These are majorly just techniques to hide it from the eyes.
- Using concealer is your best bet to hide a hickey effectively. However, make sure you select one whose tone matches your skin. And also, blend it well. You don’t want your skin having different shades because you want to hide a hickey. You may also use a small band-aid on the patch if you don’t mind. It would effectively pass as a regular bruise and save you possible embarrassment.
- If the weather is not too hot, pieces of clothing such as a scarf or turtlenecks can help take your hickey off public eyes. If you’re a woman and you have long hair, it’s even better; you can let your hair down.
- Note. Some people rub on their hickeys with spoon, toothbrush or coin or some other smooth object. It has no scientific basis and does nothing to hasten to heal. If anything, it can even slow the healing. Hickeys need time and rest to heal so spare them the extra pressure, which is unnecessary anyway.
- If you are really insistent on trying to hasten its healing, then you may use a cold compress. Do this especially if the mark swells big. Hickeys heal on their own anyway, so this method might also be unnecessary.
Now that you know how to give a hickey cross your fingers and hope your partner does not mind having one. A hickey is a perfect lovemaking activity, and it is usually done between two very intimate partners. Remember, while giving one, don’t forget the guidelines provided above.